Tuesday, December 16, 2008

More Updating

I am still grading...may I just mention, in passing, how heartily sick I am of the Witness for Jesus cleverly disguised as an essay answer? 

Does this only happen in Arkansas?  Or only to professors who have foolishly mentioned that they aren't Saved?

In any case: if I have to read one more How Jesus Entered My Life And How Blessed I Am Because of it paper and/or essay this grading season, I think I might yak.

I have gotten a couple excellent papers, though: one on black English; one on dive bar sociolects; one of the sociolect of hang-gliders; one examining the use of color in Howl's Moving Castle.  So, well, 90% of everything being crap, as it is, I suppose I should be pleased enough.

BTW: my shoulder HURTS.


sugaredharpy said...

Oh your poor shoulder!

Why, YES, I do get the Jesus paper. But I suspect the few I get would be welcome to you, it sounds like you get hella many.

I suddenly am getting the Fuck Yer Rules: Copying and Pasting From the Internets IS SO NOT PLAGIARISM.

web said...

That Howl one sounds fascinating! Wish I could read it.

Bardiac said...

Ewww, what the heck kind of question are they responding to with that?

Sarasvati Fautheree said...

Dear Profesor Delagar:

I am like soooooooo sorry to hear about you're latest grading trubles! I, too, used to have grading trubles, but, then, I found my SAVIOR, and I now have NO problems WHATSOEVER, because once you find the SAVIOR, you live in a world where we all eat rainbows and crap Skittles, where everyone loves everyone and all is right and good and faire!

I'm talking, of course, about the great, and mighty, CTHULU. I found my SAVIOR, CTHULU, when I was just, ten years old. My parents had always told me he not only excited, but held a personal grudge against me. Imagine the knowledje that, as small as you feel, you are personaly hatted by the most important tentacled thing in the universe! Maybe even the multiverse! And that he hats you even more because you are a women! But in spite of all my parents teachings, i never really KNEW that the SAVIOR hatted me personally until this one day, me, and my cousin Bobbay, out behind teh Piggly Wiggly, saw something VERY SPESHAL! We were playing a game wehre, like, you shoot paintballs at the dumpster. We first knew something was up when the paint splatters started, coinsidentaly, to look like Cthulu himself! Then, it talked to us, much as the burning bush told Mary Kelly she had VD. "Amanda," it said, "I am your God, and you will have no other God before me, and it is now your duty to make sure that all know the amazing hate and malevolence of the mighty Cthulu. Also, bring back some Doritos."

Ever since then, I have been spreading the massage about the power of the SAVIOR and how those who don't know him will be relegated to a hell wehrein they have to listen to Celine Dion and the Miami Sound Machine over and over for all eternity. There may be some Butterfly Kisses in the playlist, too, if you're really, really, really unfaithful. I only tell you theses things because my pastor said that you are going to that hell if someone doesn't save you, and i really enjoyed your class this ssemester, even though i only came like 2 days, but i really liked those 2 days, and it would be a shame for you to suffer after you die. My mommy also said if you faile me this semaster we will sue. And you will go straight to the bad place.


Amanda Tiffany Mercedes Lexus LaRue from the Back Row

delagar said...

Sara, I wish they were that subtle.

Bardiac, they don't even try to make them fit the exam question, most of the time. This semester the exam question asked them to compare either the treatment of women or the treatment of heroes across cultures studied in class (WLIT since 1760), using at least three works of literature which we had read in class. I had three separate students write me essays about how Jesus was their hero. I'm like, What? How is that an answer to the question? Not to mention, no, we did not read anything from the Bible, old or New Testament (how could we have? WLIT since 1760?), so no, they did not touch on a single work read in class.

But as I said, other papers were quite good.

Anonymous said...

I'm so pleased to know that young people are engaged in the unspeakable horror that is Cthulhu. At least it implies that the child is reading Lovecraft, or anything at all that isn't good newsy this time of year. --L