Tuesday, June 21, 2022

Grumbling about the Gym

 (1) If you're going to hog the weights, lounging about on the benches between sets for six or seven minutes each time, please don't play your ridiculous positive thinking self-help book while you do that, without your earphones on, because that is an incitement to murder, you loser.

(2) If you are going to play your ridiculous positive thinking self-help book loud enough that I can't help listening to it while you're lounging on the bench of the weights I clearly want to use (I've been following you around the weights, loser), then don't stop playing it the minute your buddy comes in and start telling anti-liberal jokes at the top of your lungs.

(3) Especially when even your buddy clearly doesn't want to hear them.

Anyway, we've exercised, at least. Now I can deal with student essays and write something.


3 comments:

nicoleandmaggie said...

I think you may have accidentally stumbled into a murder mystery set-up with quirky characters in a small town. Definitely don't go back to the gym after hours even if you left something there. Because we all know what that leads to-- finding a corpse, then accidentally solving a murder just as the murderer figures out you know and then you end up being trapped by the murderer until a last minute escape/rescue and it all sounds very traumatizing. And then after THAT you just keep finding corpses and solving murders, at least one per year.

delagar said...

Traumatizing AND sweaty. So many perfect murder weapons in a gym though!

nicoleandmaggie said...

On the other hand, if you have any colleagues who are preying on undergraduate women, this would be a good way to make sure they meet a grizzly doom in the office sometime in the next couple years. Definitely by book 3.

But then you have to confront *that* murderer too.