Tuesday, April 30, 2019

Glenn Beck's Overton Window Please Let it End

I'ma try to finish this tedious tome today. As I mentioned last time, I skimmed ahead, so I know nothing interesting happens, not in these last chapters and not anywhere else in the book.

That this pile of over-written bog-standard conspiracy crap garnered as many five star reviews on Amazon as it has is a sign of the coming Apocalypse, that's all I have to say.

Chapter 35

Noah meets Molly for lunch. Nothing happens, except we hear about how TSA loves to harass Freedom Fighting Americans, who are 100% not terrorists.

Chapter 36-37

The TSA part was because Molly needs to fly to Las Vegas, and how can she, when she'll be harassed and arrested by Security because Noah's Daddy knows who she is?

Noah has a brilliant plan. No, it's not flying her to Las Vegas in one of his private jets. (Beck's ghost writer apparently doesn't understand what the mega-wealthy are actually like.)

Nope, he disguises her as Natalie Portman, and then uses his rich-boy power to get her through Security that way.

I have to admit, my first reaction here was, who the fuck-word is Natalie Portman? Wikipedia tells me she was in one of the Star Wars episodes I didn't see, which makes sense (I guess) because Molly gets them out of a stick spot in these hijinx by quoting Star Wars.

The sticky spot? She's wearing...gasp...a crucifix, and the Star Wars Geek running security knows that Portman is Jewish.

There's some casual nastiness about what Science Fiction fans look like here, by the way: Geek is overweight and wearing ill-fitting clothing, and has a bad haircut.

"The force is strong with this one," Molly says. The Geek melts under her sexiness and deep knowledge of Star Wars.

They get aboard the flight and Molly falls asleep. While she's sleeping, Noah browses through her things, reading her notebook, and generally acting badly. But this is so Beck's ghost writer can tell us (again) that Molly is reading the Original Works of the Founding Fathers, who are perfect, also filled wit humility, not like That President Obama.

Chapter 38

Kearns and Danny are driving to meet their terrorists.

Along the way, Danny explains his theory about how various terrorist attacks, including the Sept 11 attack, are all just False Flags. And so this attack on Vegas is probably one too. Kearns objects, saying that if that were true he would know about it. Danny calls him a naive little kitten.

Not exactly in those words.

Chapter 39

More Deep Thoughts from Noah as he reads through Molly's notebook, which is filled with quotations from the Founding Fathers. More conspiracy whackiness. My boredom is at Peak Beck.

Chapter 40

Kearns and Danny prepare to meet the terrorists. Danny has to explain to Kearns how to approach bad guys, because Kearns never learned that in all his years as a Super-Secret Agent for the FBI.

Chapter 41

Kearns and Danny sell the nuclear weapon to the terrorists. Then they start shooting the terrorists, for reasons that aren't especially clear. This is the worst-run sting I've ever seen in fiction.

But before they shoot the terrorists, they let them load the weapon into their truck, so one terrorist gets away with the bomb.

But Danny and Kearns get aboard as the truck drives away, which the terrorist doesn't notice, because he's an idiot.

Chapter 42

Noah and Molly have rented a car and are driving at top speed toward the location Danny sent to everyone. Why? I guess Molly thinks she needs to help Danny? It's not really clear. Molly is driving, because Noah never learned. (I don't actually know why Molly is driving. Probably so Noah can tell her to slow down, a lot.)

Chapter 43

Danny calls 911 from the back of the speeding Truck o'Terrorist. I'm not sure why. I mean, does he honestly think Emergency Services will fly out here to the middle of the desert to rescue him?

But no fear! 911 is in on the Big Conspiracy. Danny and Kearns are on their own.

Meanwhile Kearns has found his Super-Secret Contact, the only one who knows Kearns is REALLY from the FBI, dead in the back of the truck.

Danny has to point out to him what this means -- this is ANOTHER false-flag operation, like 9/11, and he and Kearns are the scapegoats.

Their solution?

They set off the nuclear weapon.

I mean, what? (A) Is that really their best option? Why not, idk, shoot it out with the sole remaining terrorist when he stops for gas or whatever? Also (B) how is setting off the nuclear weapon here, instead of actually in Vegas, going to help their cause? It's still a terrorist setting off a NUCLEAR WEAPON. Besides which (C) what makes them think some idiot in the White House won't decide this is a first strike? Touching off the destruction of the entire planet?

But that's what they do, exploding themselves and I guess the surrounding 40 or 50 square miles in a blaze of glory.

Chapter 45

Noah and Molly are still driving. They are having a fight about who is more committed to this Fight for Freedom, blah blah blah, when Molly sees police lights behind them.

Noah flings himself out of the car so that he can fling himself in front of the police cars and let Molly get away (she's determined to get to Danny and stop whatever is happening -- she doesn't know it's a nuclear weapon, but she knows it's a Big False Flag).

He stops the police by standing in the middle of the road with his hands raised. They all stop, instead of one stopping and the rest going on after Molly.

Then, as they're all facing him down with their scary weapons, the nuclear bomb explodes.

Chapter 46

Noah gets interrogated. Not very interestingly. We learn nothing new. (If the repetition in the book had been trimmed away, it would be about six chapters long.)

Chapter 47

Noah's daddy interrupts the interrogation. He makes yet another endless speech, again saying nothing new. "Useless eaters," "Saul Alinksy," "democracy is a sham," "people are sheep," blah blah blah.

Then he announces that he must find out what Noah is made of.

Chapter 48

Noah gets tortured some more, with his father watching.  Again, it's very boring torture. Near its end, inspired by Molly, Noah recites some Social Darwinist doggerel his father taught him when he was a boy. This convinces his father, for some reason, that Noah is his True Son and Worth Trusting.


Noah's locked up in a repurposed prison, doing various clerical jobs for his father, but unable to do them in a convincing manner. His daddy is thinking of locking him up good.


The guy who fetches him his meals slips him Molly's bracelet, and tells him to do a certain job -- basically leave his computer logged on.

He also slips him a note from Molly: "We are everywhere. I'll see you soon. The fight begins tomorrow."

THE END (thank God)

So apparently in the next book, The Eye of Moloch, which I am not going to read, we still don't get to the concentration camps.

I have to say, this is the least scary Supervillain ever. Apparently what he wants to do is bring peace and prosperity to America by managing the economy.

The bastard.

Also though he wants to stop Good Christian Patriots from having AK-47s, collecting rain water, smoking cigarettes, homeschooling their kids, and refusing vaccinations for their babies.

So totally evil, yeah.

I have to say this book was a lot more boring than I expected. Lots of propaganda and lies, but it was all Conspiracy Nut lies and propaganda, and frankly, who cares.

I'll look for something less idiotic next time.

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