Sunday, June 05, 2005

What? MORE Christian Bias?

Just back from New Orleans, where we left the kid. Also ate crawfish (not mr. delagar, due to the kosher thing) and drank a great deal of beer, and went to see Kingdom of Heaven.

I did not (no, really, I didn't) know I was committing yet another Evil Liberal Act by doing so, but apparently I was. Who knew this movie was yet another act of Christian Persecution?

We just wanted to go to a movie. Since we don't do baby-sitters (not out of any conviction, exactly -- a combination of poverty and lack of connections and lack of time), we don't get to go to movies except on the rare occasions when we're at the grandparents' house and can leave the kid with them. So we were in New Orleans, and I was only slightly stoned on Sam Adams, and mr. delagar really wanted to go see a movie, and what was actually playing that was worth seeing on the wide screen?

Because, really. What are they doing out there in Hollywood these days? Not making movies anyone wants to see, that's what. Serenity ain't opening until, what, September? (Don't even say Star Wars to me. Please.)

So, okay. Kingdom of Heaven. Wide Screen action. Boom boom boom.

I believe I have mentioned to you that I have Winger relations. They expressed disapproval.

"Why?" mr. delagar asked.

The reply: "The Muslims win."

This makes it a Bad Movie.

We went anyway.

I report, in case you have not seen it, that the Muslims only sort of win. And it is not exactly what I would call a good movie. Though it had some nice bits. Some pretty scenes. Not to mention some pretty men.

Some giant plot holes. Some very stupid bits. Here's an actual historian to cover them all for you:

But that's not what's upsetting the Wingers.

No. It's (a) the Muslims are not being shown as Eee-eee-vil.

And (b) some [not all] of the Christians are, indeed, being shown as not good guys -- guess which ones? Oh, yes. The fanatics. The Fundies. The ones who say we must follow God's will blindly. The ones who say kill-all-the-Muslims, because God wants only Christians on this planet. Hmmm. Why would that upset them?

And (c) the blatant and ahistorical (says the historian above) message of the movie is that we (Christians, Jews, Muslims, atheists, whatnot) are all human beings, and taking care of human beings is more important than protecting religion.

Hey. What a whacky idea.

So you can see that this must be an ee-ee-vil movie.

But what it wasn't was an anti-Christian movie -- our main character, Balian, is a Christian, and a serious one. (Granted, also a murderer -- but hey, Christians aren't perfect, just forgiven, right?) He takes the Crusade because he's seeking forgiveness. His first act on reaching Jerusalem is to climb the hill where Christ was crucified and spend the night in prayer. He spends his life doing, as Christ preached, protecting the helpless, feeding the hungry, aiding the poor. He's just opposed to the sort of Christian, the Templar Knights, who are spending their lives slaughtering (as they see it) for God.

Yet, as I was standing outside the theater, waiting for mr. delagar, what do I hear as I am passed by three burly guys in football jerseys? "That was so anti-Christian."

Here's another Winger who thinks so:

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