Wednesday, March 30, 2022

What It is Like to Be a Bat

 Actually this is not about being a bat*. This is about getting old**. What is it like to be an absolute adult?

(1) You finally feel grown-up -- you're the one managing everything and making sure everything happens, and one day you realize, oh, okay, I'm an adult, cool.

(2) You don't get (as) upset about things anymore. Sure, everything sucks, and there's a disaster, but you've been through so many disasters now, you kind of know how everything is going to go. (You still fret. It's just not apocalyptical fretting.)

(3) Your feet hurt. Like, all the time. "This is what it was like for the little mermaid," you think sometimes.

(4) After just a normal fucking day, like teaching four classes and getting groceries and taking the dog for his walk, your entire body hurts like you've been doing day labor for weeks.

(5) You don't really like Hostess cupcakes or frozen pizza anymore.

(6) You get really picky about the books you read and the movies and television shows you watch. It's like the frozen pizza. You've eaten so much excellent pizza, the frozen ones taste terrible. You've read so many excellent books, you have a very low tolerance for non-excellent books. 

(7) You spent years being sure you would never retire -- why would you? You love your work! Now...you're not so sure. Maybe you could be ready to stop doing this one day. 

(8) It's not such a big deal to do the dishes and take out the trash and clean the bathroom. Why did this ever upset and annoy me, you wonder. I mean, Jesus, it only takes like ten minutes.

(9) You spend a not insignificant amount of time wondering how your life went by so fast. Weren't you twenty-two just five minutes ago?

(10) On the other hand, you wouldn't go back and be 22 again for anything. Jesus, those were hard years. 


*Title taken from David Lodge's Thinks, which I highly recommend.

**This should really be more like, this is what it is like to be getting old for me. YMMV!

2 comments:

saramacdavis said...

Yes, this exactly the bat experience for us all! There are a few things I refuse to give into in old age, one being buying clothes that scream "old lady trying to dress up" And trying not to do the things that my Mom did that really annoyed me, but according to my daughter's facial expressions I may be failing at that.

delagar said...

I too refuse to wear old lady clothes! But I am definitely turning into my father.