Friday, August 31, 2012

But Someone On The Internet Was Wrong...

So like an idiot I got involved in an internet argument on some guy's blog over the Akin issue.

I'd link you, but fuck this guy and his internet jerk readers.

The gist of the argument they put up was that (a) Akin was right, not that many women did get pregnant through rape and (b) even if he was wrong, so what, a baby is still a baby, amirite? and (c) women should just stop whining, it's not like being pregnant is a big deal, as compared to, you know DYING, which is what happens to the baby when the woman kills it just to save herself the trouble of having to give birth to a rape-baby, the selfish slut.

I knew better, but I entered a couple of comments -- one saying Akin was wrong; one saying that the real issue wasn't over abortion/not abortion in this case anyway, but over his suggestion that there could be something called "illegitimate" rape; and finally that, listen, seriously, pregnancy is a big deal.

I mentioned that -- quite beyond the complications attendant to pregnancy, such as nerve damage, debilitating heartburn, sleeplessness, exhaustion, loss of income, some of which problems may end with the delivery of the child (or not -- I still have the debilitating heartburn and the sciatica) -- that carrying a child to term was risky (quite a bit more risky than having a legal abortion*).

I added that I happened to know how dangerous childbirth could be from personal experience, since I had nearly died myself, giving birth to my daughter.**

The response, from these Pro-Life gentlemen?

Mockery.

"Oh, I am so glad to discover just how dangerous it is to have babies. I guess my wife and myself just got lucky, when we had our four!"

"Heartburn and swollen feet? Wow, that does sound horrible! Better get an abortion quick!"

One day I will learn that Pro-Life actually means Keep The Bitches In Their Place.

One day.



*I added this part in because an earlier comment had gone on and on about how lethal abortions were --- about how the pro-choice people were the real misogynists, since they killed both women (via "botched" abortions) and "millions" of girl babies.

**I had severe pre-eclampsia, and hovered on the edge of eclampsia for three days. The Attending didn't want to induce labor, because I was only 38 weeks pregnant. He wanted to keep me at bed rest and "let nature take its course," which was lunatic, I don't need to tell you; but my wonderful PCP finally went over his and brought in the head of OBGYN, who was like WTF? Why are we messing with this?? and induced labor.

(38 weeks is close enough to full-term, and eclampsia can kill you.)

Not that I actually cared about any of this at the time: fun fact! When you're in labor, you're just sort of whacked on the pain and the job. I mean, I knew I was probably going to die. But so long as the baby wasn't -- I remember I kept asking that ("The baby's doing okay, right?") -- I just really couldn't seem to work up an interest in my survival.

5 comments:

Bardiac said...

Ugh.

I can't get around the sense that if there's illegitimate rape, that implies that there's legitimate rape. Isn't all rape, by definition, illegitimate, outside the law?

(Yes, I know Akin didn't mean that. But there's this sense that they do think that there are times when rape is, I can't even think of a word, more than "acceptable," but almost "sanctioned"?)

They're vile. I'm sorry, but there it is.

Anonymous said...

I can't imagine how we have as many court records dealing with the paternity rights of rapists if it's something that never or perhaps only extremely rarely happens "legitimately." You'd think a legislator like Todd Akin would have access to the case law.

Yes, rapists have the same paternity rights as any other father unless the victim takes him to court and sues for termination of his parental rights. The good times never end for a rape victim that becomes pregnant as a result of a rape and gives birth to the child.

It's so cruel an experience, even if the woman loves and wants her child in spite of everything, that it's hard to imagine why Republicans would want that for anyone. But then, they console themselves by believing it never happens. Magical thinking. It's always worked so well for them.

At least I'm glad to report that in the state of Kansas, if a woman is willing and able to persuade a judge that her child is a product of rape, the rapist's parental rights can be terminated on that basis. Of course, she has to do this, and the public record will be there for the child to read when he or she gets old enough to wonder why Mom never talks about Dad and decides to do the research. But it isn't true in every state. Kansas is in the minority on this matter.

You might wonder how often a rapist will assert his parental rights when he finds out there's a child? Often enough to leave a long line of court cases dealing with it. It's surprisingly NOT rare. Imagine that.

-- L

delagar said...

They are vile. I keep promising myself I won't argue with guys like that, because I know there's no point.

But right up until I started talking back to these guys, they did seem reasonable -- that is, other *guys* were talking back to them, and these guys were responding reasonably to *them.*

I just forgot about the whole bitches ain't shit factor.

delagar said...

And L -- yeah, I wish I was shocked to find that rapists want custody of their rape babies. Rape is about dominance, after all; and for a lot of people, parenting is about dominance too.

Have you read any of the conservative parenting blogs, for instance?

Anonymous said...

I glance at conservative parenting blogs occasionally, the way I look at family Facebook pages. It isn't pretty but it's the only way to know what's going on.

-- L