Tuesday, September 06, 2016

Changing Your Name: a Rant

Here's why I think women should not take their husband's name upon getting married -- or, well, you know, why NO ONE should change his or her name upon marrying ANYONE, though let's be honest, it's women who change their names, 98% of the time.

Partly, yes, because patriarchal bullshit.

But mostly? Because when you change your name, woman, I don't know who you are anymore. I see your name on the roll? Or I read it on a list? Who TF is that? I wonder.

And unless I was at your wedding or part of your courtship process, how am I supposed to know?

And it's not like women marry at 22 and that's it. Women marry at 22 or 25, and then they marry again at 35, and then they marry again at 50, and you know, it is hard enough for me to learn one name and attach it to one face and one set of biographical details. If you're going to keep changing your name, I'm sorry, I surrender.

Just stick to the name you came up with, how's that?

Make it simpler for all of us.

(I am about 65% serious here.)


Fie upon this quiet life! said...

I hyphenated my name and felt, like, soooo feminist. Now, I kind of wish I'd kept my name. The hyphenated thing is weird to enough people that I always feel like I'm apologizing for it. Or they hear my name and think that it's Greek or something. (It's not!)

My sister has been married three times, and each time she changed her name. But this last, third, marriage, she decided to add her maiden name back in. She's not hyphenated, just has three names.

Also, I started reading American Gods this weekend. Is this a book you like? I think I remember you saying something about it at some point. I'm about 100 pages in and am intrigued. :)

delagar said...

I do like American Gods! I actually taught it, three or four years ago, when I taught a class in American Epics here.

Isn't one of the networks doing a mini-series? I remember hearing that somewhere.

nicoleandmaggie said...

I get over this problem by just not remembering anybody's name.

delagar said...

^^Probably the best solution.

Bardiac said...

Nicoleandmaggie win!

I try to be more patient with folks changing their names for gender change reasons. (Still, I admit to being impatient by the third name change of a friend in grad school.)

And I applaud those who change their name usage because their parents gave them stupid names (me, for example, naturally).

I am just a mass of inconsistency!

I blame the patriarchy!

delagar said...

^^SAME! On all counts!

undine said...

nicoleandmaggie's solution is mine, too.