Friday, December 24, 2010

The Kid Writes a Guest Post

Here is the first blog appearance ever from kiddelagar:

Gender Constrictions in Our Society; or: My Fear of Public Bathrooms

As you may or may not know, I have very short hair. Coupled with my wearing comfortable clothes (i.e. Boys clothes since girls must be put in tight, itchy clothes) this makes for awkward situations in places with public bathrooms.

Essentially, I stand outside the two bathrooms, a scene replaying in my where I walk into the girls bathroom and there’s some one there and they say ‘This is the girls bathroom’ and I say ‘I am a girl, I just have short hair’ but they insist I’m a boy and then I have a psychological breakdown and murder them with a switchblade.

That last bit with switchblade and the breakdown didn’t actually happen. 

However the rest of it happened once, leading me to want to shop for ‘girly’ clothes.

This led to the Shopping Trip Of Awkward Doom.

It can be summarized as:

My Grandma: We need to find some clothes for her.

Shopping Assistant Lady: You mean him?

Grandma: No, her.

The rest consisted of me follow SA Lady around the girls clothing section, all the while getting strange looks. Eventually I found a purple sweater that I liked. 

But when I tried it on a few weeks later because we are going to see a movie, the neck was way to low-cut, and it was tight and itchy. 

So the Shopping Trip Of Awkward Doom was for nothing.

Perhaps in the future we will have unisex bathrooms. Until then I will have to get over my fear of public bathrooms. 


Bardiac said...

I can only say, it gets better. That happened to me: the bathroom thing and the uncomfortable girls' clothing. My Mom insisted on my wearing dresses and skirts ONLY whenever I went to school or went out until I was a teenager. So, at least your kid doesn't have that to deal with.

But again, it gets better. You get more confident about where to go, AND, yes, there are gender neutral restrooms in some places.

Til then, you can use my restroom any time, and dressed any way you like and with your hair in whatever form you choose.

dorki said...

If you are still in Ft. Smith, AK she could always try Hancock Fabrics at 3325 S 74th St.

That comes from the "" search site that Annalee Newtz mentioned when she was doing a regular blog.

Anonymous said...

Not sure about Pork Smith but in KC there are often family (aka unisex) restrooms in the mall.

You don't owe anyone an explanation as to WHY you're in a bathroom. You're there to pee, duh. So if someone stops you and questions your gender just say, "I need to pee." go in the stall, do your business, flush, wash your hands and move on. You don't even owe them an "I need to pee." ignore them and do what you came to do. It's not as if being in the opposite sex's bathroom is illegal (which is irrelevant because you're a girl. So.)

As for girls' clothes. If you want to wear clothing made for girls but don't want to deal with the tight fit and itchy synthetic fibers (hooray to that, I say!), give Lands End a try. Also, Mini Boden and even Target sell clothes that are feminine without being girly monstrosities. If YOU are happy with your clothing, then so what if your taste doesn't match with what society's gender roles would have you wear? Being comfortable in your own skin (and clothes) matters more than looking like Little Miss Pork Smith.

And, remember, so what if someone stupid thinks you're a boy in the girls' bathroom? It's a 30 second encounter with narrow minded idgits that don't matter. You are you. You are beautiful. And sometimes your beautiful self needs to use the restroom in public. Just go. Your bladder will thank you.