Sunday, May 14, 2006

Joys of Motherhood

My post for Mother's Day:

Here's what they don't warn you about during Lamaze Class:

You will be awakened, two on the morning, by a piercing wail:

"Mama! MAMA!"

You'll leap awake, to the worst sound in the world. Vomit spewing.

Hit the light. Too late. Vomit all over the nice white bedsheets. Blankets. Pillows!

Oh, well. Resigned, you take hold of the kid, make soothing noises. "It's all right. Go ahead. It'll stop."

mr. delagar. (mr. delagar panics with vomit, let me insert.) "Oh, my god, is that BLOOD? Is she vomiting BLOOD?"

The kid (still puking): "Ek -- am I? -- ek -- am I vomiting blood?"

Me: "No!" (Glaring at mr. delagar.) "It's beenie weenies, jeez."

The kid (wailing): "Make it stop! Mama, make it stop!"

Which it didn't, btw, all night long. She vomited off and on all night long, until 4.30 a.m.

Motherhood. What bliss.


CB said...

oh my. gees. icky. happy mother's day.

zelda1 said...

Yep, then there's grandmotherhood, it was as we were driving to the family reunion and the Baby says, "Ne." which is Nana in his talk, so I turn around just as he spews at least a tub full of clabbored milk, breakfast particles, and what looked like fruit rollups. I pull to the side of the road, and as I try to clean him up, Mr. Zelda is gagging. Geez, what's next. Well, it was, yep, diarrhea, all the say down the mountain, vomit and diarrhea, until I found a store that sold Kaeopectate and gave him dose one then two and finally we get to my sisters, gave him a bath, and he felt better. YUCK! You're right, they don't tell you that in any class, nor do you ever really see that part of motherhood, or grandmotherhood, then it hits. WOW! It's funny, they always yell for either mama or nana. Never fails.