The Kid: Please.
Me: I'm working! Is this important?
The Kid: But I need my waffle buttered...
Me: So butter it.
The Kid: But you butter things so much better than I do.
Me: And why do you think that is? Do you think I was born knowing how to butter waffles?
The Kid: It seems like you were. (Wheedling.) You do it so well.
Me: Buttering waffles is not an inborn skill.
(Here I make my crucial parenting error: I get up to butter the waffle.)
Me: (Still ranting): I can only butter waffles because I started buttering them when I was ten and between that age and this I have buttered eight million waffles. (I am now buttering her waffle, mind you.) What sort of parent would I be if I did not make you learn to butter your own waffle?
The Kid: (Smugly accepting her buttered waffle): One who does an awesome job of buttering waffles.