Here Comes

Here comes the new semester like a freight train, and I have the syllabi designed and emailed to all four of my sections, which is fairly fucking amazing, if you ask me, considering the amount of Xanax I was forced to scarf down due to the kicking around the English Department got during the pre-semester work sessions. Here are some questions I have gotten back from my students so far:

(1) You have six books on the required reading list. Are we going to read all of those?

(2) Can you tell me which book we're going to read first? I'm going to be in court for the first week of the semester, so I won't be able to be in class that week.

(3) You're syllabus says we're writing three stories. Wat if I oly write 2? Thanks! (Note: It actually says essays, and it says four.)

(4) I notice your attendance policy where it says you take off for attendance. What if I have to work? I work so I'll have to miss class every Friday for work. I don't want you counting off on my grade for this!

(5) I was looking over the list of books for your class and saw the story Dracula. Can I substitute some other book, since I'm a Christian?

I've also discovered that many of my students don't know what the word "tentative" mean (as in "attached you will find the tentative work schedule for our semester.") They seem to think it means something like "sketchy" or really thin, to judge by their jokes.

Grant you, as mr. delagar likes to say, if they already knew things, they wouldn't be in school, would they now, but on the other hand?

Good fucking shit.