So I'm talking to the kid the other night, and I point out that you know, technically, according to Xtian's own rules, Jesus is illegitimate, and --
What? she demands.
Well, God never married Mary, did he? So--
Which isn't really as bad as the whole adultry thing, I added, thoughtfully, since, under the rules of the time, Joseph being betrothed to Mary, that's the same as being married, and God's slipping around with someone else's wife, so--
MOM! You're giving me all these moral dirtclods, and you KNOW I can't throw them!
(I have forbidden her to raise these issues with teh Xtians at her school.)
Which makes this really unkind of me. But I have to show her this article:
Adam's Family Jewels.
“And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and He took the bone of Adam’s penis and made him a woman.”
Er, wait, wasn’t it from one of Adam’s ribs that Eve was created?
Not according to Ziony Zevit. A professor of Semitic languages at the American Jewish University in Los Angeles Zevit posits that the Hebrew word tsela (literally “side,” but traditionally translated as “rib”) employed in Genesis refers in fact to Adam’s member.
It cracks me up.