Driving Back From Aikido:
Me: So how did it go tonight?
The Kid: Lousy. Didn't you see? I was paired with a pygmy moron.
Me: (laughing helplessly): She was five! Not stupid! Little!
The Kid: She's an idiot.
Me: Where did you learn to talk this way? Good shit!
The Kid: Where do you think? Pygmy moron.
The Kid: Sorry, sorry!
Me: Did you just call your mother a pygmy moron? Really?
The Kid: It was an accident! It slipped out!
Me: I'm not even short! I'm 5'7"!
The Kid: I didn't mean it!
So they're all right, folks, all those people who tell you you reap what you sow: raise your kid with snottiness, you get a snotty kid.
14 minutes ago