Learn the Heimlich Maneuver, Folks

We went to lunch with the kid and his husband today, as is our wont on Fridays, and Dr Skull choked on a bite of chicken. I looked up and saw his desperate expression and how he was grabbing at his chest and throat. "Are you all right?" I said, and then more alarmed, "Are you choking?"

He did not answer, just looked more desperate.

I jumped up. "He's choking!" I shouted at the restaurant. "Who knows the Heimlich?" 

I looked wildly at the waiter, who backed away looking terrified. "I don't know it!" he said.

"Who knows the Heimlich?" I yelled louder. "He's choking!"

A woman got up. "I do. Move out of the way."

"Move!" I said. That was my contribution. Everyone scattered from her path.

She had to do it several times before he had choked up everything -- there was vomit involved, if you've never seen it done -- first while he was sitting and then getting him to stand up. It took like five minutes. It was absolutely terrifying, for me, though also for him.

When we were finally sitting down and he had cold compresses all over him -- that was also the woman's suggestion, since apparently choking makes your body heat go up -- I saw that the entire restaurant had cleared out. We all thanked the woman about a billion times. I forgot to get her name. 

Anyway, I'm signing up for a CPR/Choking class, which is given by the city. 

Aside from the time the kid, at about eight months old, choked on a pistachio,  this was the most terrifying five minutes of my life.

Don't worry, I left a big tip.

Crystal Bridges 2026

The kid and I had a fine if exhausting time at the museum. Here are my favorite works of art:

A Tiffany window

A George Ault I love to pieces

My favorite Will Barnet

We ate at the museum, which had excellent food -- I had a burger and the kid had catfish with purple rice, which was beautiful to look at, and he said it was delicious.

Then we went to William Sonoma. The kid loves William Sonoma. I got some linen napkins and he got a kitchen scale.

It was so hot, but we had a good time nonetheless. We rode the shuttle bus from the parking garage to the museum, and the kid got up to give an old lady his seat and all the old ladies cooed. "Oh, how sweet!"

Rain and Crystal Bridges

It rained last night, so today is cooler -- the dog and I enjoyed the dog park greatly this morning.

Later on, the kid and I are going to Crystal Bridges. I haven't been for over a year, because Dr. Skull is not up to walking around a museum and so far refuses to let me rent him a wheelchair for the excursion. I am greatly looking forward to the outing. 

SO HOT

God, it is so hot here. I can barely stand to walk outside with the dog. Even at dawn, it is near 80 degrees and so much humidity.

Tomorrow it's supposed to rain and then it will be a bit cooler -- high 80s and low 90s for the highs, right through August 11, and then we will be out of the dog days. Things should be less miserable after that. Knock wood.

It is so dispiriting when you're staring down a week with highs in the 100s. Honestly. 

Eight more weeks of summer.

Oh NO

Forecast is for temperatures at or near 100 here for the next three days, with high humidity making it feel much hotter.

Our AC cannot keep it. It's miserable.

(We're in the charred black section.)

O BOY AI!!

Apparently Elon Musk is going to make an AI Odyssey which is "historically accurate," which is hilarious in and of itself. But the MAGA bootlickers cheering him on just crack me up.

This is not about that, but it's funny all the same:

London: we're making a fully AI horror movie! Poe: Barker: King: Koontz: Lovecraft: Barker: fuck ha ha Barker: this fuckin sucks Poe: clive Poe: no never mind Poe: this does suck

— The Midnight Society (@midnightpals.bsky.social) 12:21 PM · Jul 23, 2026

Disclaimer:  I have not seen the Nolan movie which has the Right pitching tantrums. For all I know, it is actually awful. But the belief held by the Right that the classical world was composed of 100% white people cracks me up. It's no use arguing, though. The Right cannot learn. It's kind of the entire basis of their worldview, not learning things.

Barker: this is shit, man Barker: real bad Mary Shelley: sup fuckers Barker: they're making an AI horror movie Shelley: ned ludd was right all along Shelley: we shoulda broken that fuckin loom when we had the chance

— The Midnight Society (@midnightpals.bsky.social) 12:21 PM · Jul 23, 2026

Dreaming

I've been having a lot of terrible dreams lately. Last night was an anxiety dream about working at the library, which was, God, forty years ago? Fifty?

I was late for work and I couldn't get my phone to let me call in (I had my iPhone even though I worked at the library so long ago no one had a portable phone and very few people even had those huge phones in their cars) and my mother was downstairs watching the television with the sound turned up really loud (this was something she actually did, which drove me crazy when I lived at home). Also I had some kind of medical appointment that I had missed and they kept calling me only the phone wasn't ringing and didn't let me take the calls.

Yesterday night I had a moving dream -- we were moving, but nothing was packed and the movers were arriving any moment and I didn't know where the new house was.

The night before last, the house was full of mice and bugs and the kid was an infant but we didn't have anywhere safe for him to sleep, because of the mice and bugs.

These are all clearly anxiety dreams, but what am I anxious about? Everything is fine.

Trump, maybe. The MAGA movement in general. The house being filled with mice and bugs and not being able to keep the kid safe really fits that one.

Anyway, ugh.

Encounter

So I was walking Shamus home from the dog park the other day and an immigrant gentleman was walking there as well. He stopped me and politely asked me to define a word -- he had a whole bunch of English words written down in a little notebook, so he was clearly working on learning the language.

"Coincidence," I read when he pointed at it. "Boy, that's a hard one. It's...like when two things happen at the same time, but no one planned them to?"

He stared at me, clearly not understanding. "Can you give an example?" he asked after a moment.

"Maybe," I said, thinking about it. "So, for example, I'm going out a door at a store and a friend of mine is walking in the door, and neither of us planned to see each other? I might say, What a coincidence!"

I'm still not sure he understand, but as I was walking home I was thinking to myself that maybe I didn't understand what 'coincidence' means either.

The dictionary says it's when two things happen at the same time but there is no causal connection. Too bad I didn't have a dictionary with me at the time.

This reminds me of when a student asked me to define irony, and then how irony differed from sarcasm, and then what sarcasm meant, exactly.

That was an adventure.

My Major Complaints about Life At the Moment

In general I am pretty happy with how life is going right now, but I do have some complaints.

(1) I have to put my shoes on every day. Sometimes multiple times a day. Often socks are involved as well.

(2) If I don't feed and hydrate my body, it gets really cranky and sometimes starts hurting

(3) I have to fix meals. Like, every single day. Sometimes more than once a day! [See #2]

(4) Summer

(5) Dishes, laundry

(6) I have to take showers. It's such a production. First you have to arrange a time when the shower is not being used by someone else and the laundry and dishwasher are not running. Then you have to get out a towel and a washcloth and a bath mat. And soap. Then you have to undress. Then you have to get in the shower. Being in the shower is okay, even pleasant, but eventually you have to come out of the shower. Then you have to dry off and dress and clean up the towels and shower and bath mat and now there's more laundry.

(7) Not only to I have to bathe and feed and hydrate my stupid body, I have to exercise it. Even in the summer. UGH.

(8) Republicans and MAGA. Can't we vote them off the island?

(9) So many books are very bad. True, there are also good books. But I need to sort through all the terrible ones to get to the good ones. GOD.

(10) Once you hit about 65, everything starts hurting pretty much all the time. This is also when you retire and finally have plenty of time to live your life but how can you when everything hurts all the time?

(11) If you're thinking about getting a border collie mix, remember it's like installing external ADHD.

(12) Summer. Did I mention summer? Let's mention it again. It's going to be 101 degrees on Tuesday and there are still eleven more weeks until we can reasonably expect some cooler weather. If we must have summer, couldn't we just have it for a weekend in August like they do in some European countries? Or well, I guess as they used to do, since climate change has changed that.

What's that? What's that out there? Let's GO SEE!!

Weather Report

 Oh God, it's going to be 100 degrees on Tuesday.

I hate summer.

Piano Update

I am getting better.

But I have reached the point in the lesson books where I have to play with both hands at once, and as I often say to Dr Skull, "I can do ONE THING at a TIME."

Right now I'm slowing way down and learning the two-handed parts bit by bit. But it's difficult.

Also, one of the C keys on my piano does not work, so I kind of have to play around any music that requires that note. It's a bummer.

Dinner Party

The dinner party went well, despite my anxiety beforehand (what was I worried about? We invited six people, which meant eight at a table that comfortably fits six; it was a murderously hot day, so would the air conditioning keep the house bearable despite the heat from the cooking? Dr Skull had been having more trouble than usual getting around; did I mention how hot it was?). 

The menu:

• chicken with mushrooms
• grilled asparagus
• boiled potatoes with dill and butter
• baguettes
• chocolate pie with whipped cream
• white wine for those who wanted it

I cooked all of it, with a lot of coaching from Dr Skull, and it all turned out marvelously. The baguettes were especially good.

I forgot to take pictures, and probably I couldn't have shared them anyway since the kid and his husband brought along their two friends (from their 'friend group,' which is what kids today call people they met online and hang out with, frequently, online). These two flew in from Maryland and somewhere else which I don't remember. Also their friend from Kansas who is going to graduate school here came, as did Uncle Charger.

Shamus was very pleased. He loves having people visit, especially when one of them is Charger and two of the others are the kid and his husband. Although this time, his friend from Maryland was the very favorite.

Anyway. It took two days to clean up the kitchen, but now it is almost done. Just one...more...big...pot to wash. Ugh.

This has to be satire, right?

Apparently having won his first war against Iran, by means of declaring that he had won it, Trump now has to declare a "second" war on Iran? Is that really the world we're living in now?

Also! Chocolate rations have been increased for the third week in a row! And the economy is BOOMING!!

Rain and Thunder and various updates

A big thunderstorm went through here last night, terrifying the poor dog. (He has a new 'safe place' he goes when he's frightened -- our bedroom, Dr Skull's side of the bed.)

This morning it is wet and significantly cooler. We went to the dog park and he tore around, leaping in all the puddles. Now he is wet and filthy and I have banished him to his crate until he dries off some.

The kid has friends visiting this week, so they are going to museums and restaurants and playing games. They'll be here on Tuesday for dinner which is going to require me to cook (Dr Skull is going to tell me what to do).

I'm still reading biographies, but I did gobble down an epistolary novel yesterday, The Correspondent by Virginia Evans, which meant I had to read Helen Hanff's 84 Charing Cross Road again. Now I am hungry for more epistolary novels. Please give suggestions if you have them!

I am currently reading both a biography of FDR and one of Eleanor Roosevelt. The two authors are both disdainful of the spouses of their subjects -- that is, H.W. Brands sees Eleanor as as one of FDRs problems, and David Michaels has a great deal of contempt for FDR. 

Did you know Eleanor Roosevelt was bisexual? If not straight up gay. They didn't teach us that in history class. FDR, on the other hand, had a number of affairs, maybe partly because Eleanor didn't really want to sleep with him, despite how hot and handsome he was. (This is Brands, but Michaels admits FDR was a hottie too.) Anyway, Eleanor apparently had seven children for FDR (six survived to adulthood -- FDR wanted six kids) and then refused to have sex with him anymore. She moved into a cottage with two other women, and eventually hooked up with Lorena Hickok, her lifelong companion, as they say.

She stuck with the marriage, though, and tirelessly worked for FDR and his political aims. 

The political world of the 1920s, 1930s, and 1940s reminds me quite a bit of the mess we're in now -- white nationalism, eugenics, hatred of immigrants, the concentration of wealth among a very few families at the top and desperate poverty elsewhere. Also, of course, systemic racism. In an odd way, it gives me hope.

Also, today Lindsey Graham died, and apparent Mitch McConnell is on the edge of death. What a shame.

My Kid's Comic!

 Today my kid's comic reaches a scene I helped them with ---

Read their comic now!