Actual Conversation in the Delagar Household

(Explanatory headnote: About two months ago at an artists supply shop, the kid and I bought cool erasers. Mine was blue; hers was pink.)

Today, In the Living Room.  Snow Outside.  The Kid is drawing.  She notices the mug of pens and other implements by my chair.

The Kid: Hey.

Me: What.

The Kid: That's my eraser.

Me: No, it's not.  That one's mine.

The Kid: Well. But I can't find mine.

Me: That doesn't mean you get to have mine.

The Kid: Yes, it does.

Me: No, it doesn't.  Just because you lose your stuff, doesn't mean I have to give you mine.

The Kid: If I lost my slippers, you'd give me yours.  Wouldn't you?

Me: You don't get my eraser.

The Kid: What if I lost all my money.  You'd give me money.  Right?

Me: It's my eraser.

The Kid: If I needed a kidney, you'd give me a kidney.  I need that eraser!

Me: Go away.  It's mine.

The Kid (goes sadly away.  Over her shoulder): I can steal it when you're asleep.