Friday, May 06, 2011

Okay, I surrender

Here's proof that English majors are idiots.

111 Male Characters from English Literature in Order of Bangability.

Nothing is said about the methodology, but I am assuming the list was compiled by English majors or English professors, because who else would have read all those books?

But here is my issue -- issues --

  • Will Ladislaw at 84? My Will? The love of my (fictional) life? Are you people high?

  • James Steerforth beats out Will Ladislaw? Really?

  • Why is Casaubon on the list at all? The whole point was that he was not bangable -- could not do the bang, as it were. Did none of you actually read Middlemarch?

  • Algernon Moncrieff at 14? Are you fucking kidding me?

  • Randolph Henry Ash, from Possession, is on this list, but Jackson Brodie is not? Aren't you people paying attention?

  • And Mr. Rochester at #1. Le Sigh.


Tree of Knowledge said...

See, because you said Rochester is #1, I shouldn't read the list. That is all the warning I need to know that it will make me angry and disillusioned. Although I did look, and I think the photo of Colin Firth suggests movie versions. At least Heathcliff wasn't first.

delagar said...

It didn't occur to me that people might have seen the movies instead of reading the books. Hmm. That changes things -- movie Will Ladislaw was fairly pathetic.

Athena Andreadis said...

Ladislaw was pathetic in the book, as well (in the polar opposite way from Casaubon... Dorothea sure couldn't pick men).

Perhaps now is the time to mention my snachismo concept, if I haven't done so before:

Snachismo, or: What Do Women Want?

Bardiac said...

They chose an abuser as #1? I guess that says a lot, doesn't it?

#2 could be Angelo from Measure for Measure.

#3 could be the knight from the Wife of Bath's Tale.

(Also, have they read nothing before the romantics? How can Gawain not be there? Or Lancelot? Or ... (They do have Othello, so they're willing to go early if they can get in a man who kills his wife.)

I think they should rename this list: you should be grateful these men are in books and not in your life.

delagar said...

Bardiac -- Ha! Yes.