Conversation Last Night At the delagar House

Me: (at the worktable doing my prep, to the kid, who is browsing YouTube Comments): Hey. Hey. Hey.

Kid: What?

Me: Hey!

Kid: What?

Me: I have to go to the optometrist's tomorrow. (Pause.) I hope I don't fall into the lens grinder and make a spectacle of myself.

Kid: (Rising from her chair, looking deeply concerned): OMG, Mom, I hope you don't either. (Pause.) Because that is the worst. Joke. In. The. World!

You reap what you sow, folks.