Going Up For Full Professor

I'm trying to think of how to express to you how incredibly frustrating and annoying I am finding this process.

I mean, yes, it's lovely to be up for promotion, and it's lovely that I have a real shot at making it.

(Rah, rah, me!)

But oh my, the endless BALES of crap I have to put together to justify the promotion.

Also some of it is math.

I propose that from now on promotion rely on a Hunger Games like process: out on the university green, they build a giant cage, take all of us who are going up for Full this year, give us various weapons, and voila!

Six professors enter!  One professor leaves!

(I think I might be mixing my movies here.)

Then they could repeat for the assistant to associate jump.  And so on down the ladder.

Plus, think of the money they could make on concessions!

And save on all this copying.

(Also, I am almost sure I could take the other Associates around this heap.)